How to be a perfect mom!
Everyone wants to know the secret to the most famous question: How do I become the perfect mom? You know the mom that provides a fresh healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the family…No take out allowed! Attends EVERY conference, sports activity, PTA meeting, school play, and volunteers at all the functions. Keeps an amazingly clean home without EVER having one thing out of place! (Ever out of place!) You know the Perfect mom that has got that balancing act down! Never misses a beat! She is just that PERFECT by all definitions.
Well, I am finally here to share the answer with you...the moment you have all been waiting for!!! Are you ready?
The secret on how to be a PERFECT mom is realizing she does not exist! Now, before you go in on me like, “Chi Quita she does exist because I am her,” I am here to tell you that she doesn't and that's ok!
Now, what do I mean by that? It's absolutely ok to want to do everything right! It's ok to want to ensure your children have your full love and support. It is also ok to set realistic expectations for yourself! Let me say this again...Set realistic expectations for yourself! I was so guilty of spreading myself too thin for two main reasons:
Not wanting to slow down
Not wanting to ask for help
All because of FEAR! Fear that I would let my family down. FEAR that I would be judged and appear weak. FEAR that I was not meeting everyone else’s expectations of me! Read that again…not my expectations, but everyone’s expectations of me!
Ladies! We are strong, we are the foundation of our families which is why we must ask for help when we need and schedule ourselves accordingly.
The word PERFECT is definitely overrated! As long as you are doing the very best that you can do...that is all that matters! Provide for your family in any way that you can! Believe in your abilities and have the power you need to say no!
When I realized that I was running myself down to the ground, I mean literally to the point of feeling sick because I was afraid of failing those around me. I had to stop and take a deeper look within myself. Most times we find ourselves pre-wired to act or do certain things that we may not even realize we are doing. Those actions may cause you to do some deep reflecting within yourself to find the why. Why am I acting this way? Where does that come from? I am such a WHY type of person! I literally find myself overthinking, but that’s for another blog post!
For this particular situation, I realized that my pressures of wanting to be this perfect mother actually came from my childhood! Now, don’t get me wrong…my mother is an incredible woman and she literally busted her tail to provide for me! In her doing that there were some events she could not make. Some things growing up that I did not understand, but definitely made an impact on me. I decided early in my life, before becoming a mother, that I would be the “perfect mother” and the “perfect wife.” I put that pressure on myself early in life without even truly understanding life yet. I did not understand the struggles, sacrifices, and patience it takes to be a mother. Especially a mother determined to still accomplish their dreams and not allow motherhood to be the reason to not make those dreams come true. I did that! To myself! In doing that, I allowed others to think that I do not sweat, I do not panic, and to continue to add more onto my shoulders!
Now, let me tell you I am still much of a perfectionist; however, I have learned my limits. I have a better understanding of what it means to be the “Perfect” mother. Even though I am all over the place, a little forgetful, and order take out on occasion, it does not take away my value as a mother. I may not make every game, practice, or PTA meeting, but my children know I am doing my best. Not only do they know that I am doing my best, I KNOW that I am doing my best.
To that mother who is taking all day racking her brain on how to crack the code…you can stop girl! To the mom trying to figure out how to be in 3 places at one time, ask for help! For the mother beating herself up because she somehow feels that her best is not enough…STOP! Your best is enough! You are doing wonderful and I am proud of you! The world puts enough pressure on us…Do not do it to yourself. You are amazing!