Why Can’t I love myself?
Self-Love, the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness!
The ability to look in the mirror and love every single part of your body from the slight chip on your left tooth in the front to those stretch marks all over your stomach, hips, and butt from giving birth. Your goofy laugh, your natural hair, and the color of your skin.
Self-Love is so powerful! Accepting your personality and how you tend to overthink things, being a perfectionist, the inability to trust others or let them in. Understanding the power of relationships but being so careful and gentle as you build them, kind of like layers of brick, one by one. Loving all of your flaws! This is me…I am she!
Today, I am able to stand before you! This strong, confident black woman who is ready to tear down all barriers! I am setting the path for all to follow. Capable, strong-willed, beautiful, happy and at peace! I love myself! Every single wrinkle and imperfection I have, for my imperfections make me human and unique.
But…
For many, many years, I hated myself! I blamed myself for others actions. I let others behaviors and choices build self-doubt. I questioned my being, my beauty, my ability to be a mother, my ability to be a Soldier. I questioned every move I made. I hated myself! I analyzed everything that I did wrong and blamed myself. I felt lower than I ever did in my entire life.
I thought back to my childhood, about how I never felt like the prettiest girl in the room. How I constantly got made fun of for the color of my skin, always being too dark or pretty for “a dark-skinned girl.” I never got the guy! Only had one real boyfriend in high school. Often being made fun of for being too thin and having no boobs at all! Who is this lonely girl? Hell, why can’t I love myself?
“For many, many years, I hated myself! I blamed myself for others actions”
I did not love myself because….
I did not understand the importance of it.
I did not know in order for someone to love you the way you want to be loved, it starts within you.
I did not understand the purpose and beauty of positive affirmations.
I did not understand my worth, my value, my capability.
I never had anyone encourage or promote self-love.
This whole time I was taking in the imperfections of others and allowing them to shape me instead of realizing the beauty within me! It has always been there waiting to shine through and be recognized!
The Day…
The day I began to love myself is the day my world changed forever. Listen to me when I tell you…
Never let anyone:
Define your worth
Make you feel guilty for their actions
Make you responsible for their choices in life.
Know who you are! Be the reason you smile.
Here are a few ways to practice Self-Love:
Start a gratitude journal
Participate in self-care
Positive affirmations
Write down all the things you love/don’t love about yourself
Start slow, but I encourage you to do these things daily. Remember, you are a queen!
Self-Love, the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness!
Self-Love is so powerful! Accepting your personality and how you tend to overthink things, being a perfectionist, the inability to trust others or let them in. Understanding the power of relationships but being so careful and gentle as you build them, kind of like layers of brick, one by one. Loving all of your flaws!
