soldier, wife, and mother: The Balancing act
“I am a Major in the United States Army.” That is something I thought would never come out of my mouth! In fact, it was the furthest from my mind after being a military brat and having to transfer from three different schools for the 8th grade. Resilience and being able to adapt are two skills I learned at a young age. The idea of having a family, making them transfer schools, and having to move every 3 years was just not appealing to me.
“Why did I decide to become a soldier?”
Honestly, I truly feel it had to do with the powers above me. After applying to several colleges, I finally received notification that I was accepted in my dream school: The University of Tennessee. My family on the other hand, did not have any funding for me to attend! I had no money and no cosigner for any loans at that time. The idea of attending my dream school quickly faded away. At that point, I had to decide on what I was going to do. I remember reaching out to one of my teachers and he told me there was a way that I could be accepted to college and receive a full ride. He stated that West Virginia State University was an option, and I could apply for their ROTC program. That is what I did! I joined the ROTC program with the new goal of becoming an Army Officer.
I must tell you; it is the most rewarding decision I have ever made. At the same time, the most difficult, challenging, and trying decision I have ever made. It is quite the balancing act, that I am not sure I will ever get the hang of.
“It is quite the balancing act, that I am not sure I will ever get the hang of.”
B.A.L.A.N.C.E
Soldier I am proud to be a strong black woman in the Army. My job is to not only fight for a seat at the table, but to continue making changes at that table. My seat is valuable, my seat is important, my seat is representation. I must pave the way for many young black female soldiers just like me. My job is not easy. Before they see MAJ Mack, they see a young black female. I am constantly having to prove myself.
I am capable, I am smart, and I can get the job done. Being strong or assertive is a daily struggle. I can be angry but not too angry, or I am labeled “the angry black woman.” If I do not stand my ground, then I can be considered a little too friendly or even a push over. All in all, I welcome the challenge. I know who I am, and I know that I can complete any task thrown my way. I will continue to honor my Army values:
Loyalty: Bear true faith and allegiance to the U.S. Constitution, the Army, unit, and other soldiers
Duty: Fulfill my obligations
Respect: Treat people as they should be treated.
Selfless Service: Put the welfare of the Nation, the Army, and subordinates
Honor: Live up to Army Values
Integrity: Do what is right, legally, and morally
Personal Courage: Face fear, danger, or adversity (physical or moral)
I will continue to pave the way, I will continue to stand my ground, I will continue to be to the example.
Wife Dual military…Yes, my husband and I are both in the military. There is a constant battle of careers. We must decide who will go to their next career deployment school, update Family Care plans, and figure out the kid’s sports schedule so one parent is always present. Slowly climbing up the ranks making a name for ourselves and as we are doing this, we are both ultimately sacrificing. Sacrificing time with one another that we will never get back. Precious moments of just watching Netflix together, getting ice cream, or just staying up all night laughing about absolutely nothing.
As a wife, I am trying the best I can to focus on the things that make us great together. We are both expecting the other to be understanding when it comes to our military careers. Just because we ask for understanding does not mean it is not difficult. Communication is a key factor when ensuring we have proper balance.
As a soldier, I get it from all angles; it all involves sacrifice.
“Sacrificing time with one another that we will never get back.”
Mother I am a mother! The most challenging yet rewarding job I could ever ask for. I enjoy teaching my children the importance of life and the realness of it all. I love to challenge them to go for their dreams and never stop trying. As a Soldier, I believe I asked my children to sacrifice the most. I am expecting my children to be loving and understanding at such a young age. I am asking my children to allow mommy to go be the best soldier she can be, by serving this country we live in. To understand why mommy cannot make every game, cheer competition, and practice. That everything I do is for them. I am working so hard so that my children can continue to have the best life.
My children pay the ultimate price! With that being said, it is always important that I communicate with them. I allow them to be as open as possible with their feelings; that is important to me. No matter what I do, every decision I make affects my children. My children are resilient!
“As a Soldier, I believe I asked my children to sacrifice the most”
Oh balance! Such a wobbling act! I ALWAYS want to get it right. Do I? Not all the time, but I am always continuing to work on it. Always remembering what is important to me: Family, yet still holding true to the Oath I made to this country. Through it all I have learned:
Leadership
The Ability to Stand Tall
Patience
Love and Understanding
& Communication
Serving is not easy. It involves a lot of tears, sweat, and hard work. I value what I do, I am proud to serve, and I am proud to be MAJ Chi Quita Mack!